Saturday, September 22, 2007
Will the Real Me Please Stand Up discusses the need to come out and show my real self. Since the time I started writing reflections on the books I have read, layers of myself are slowly being peeled to reveal the real me. The present book peeled off yet another layer that hides my real self. This real self has many facets. On of these facets is my insecure self. I say I am insecure because it is difficult to risk showing the real me. There is the danger of not being accepted. While my family cannot disown me right away, they might dislike the real me. They might not like that I want them in my life to be with forever. This might seem to them overdependence or immaturity. My family might think that I cannot be independent or cannot grow up. With my friends, it's easy to lose them because they can find somebody else to be their friend. My real self may seem too much for them to endure. It might seem too bad or unfit. That is why it is always a balancing act between showing my real self and projecting my acceptable self. This balancing act, therefore, is hard to live by day to day. It is so much better if my real self and my accetable self are one and the same. The books I read, including the latest one, confirm that it can happen.
Showing my real self is important because I should be comfortable with my own skin. It is for my own sake that I be true to myself. I do not want to project somebody that I am not. I want my family not because I am dependent on them. More appropriately, I want them because they are my most treaured possession. I may lose everything in the world but not my family. They are not likely to let me down. Through thick and thin, we hang on together. Because of this, I love my family enough to want them forever by my side. Same thing goes with my friends. I want my friends around the real me. I want my friends to have a friend that's real and not just some product of their dream. I want them to stay by my side no matter what they see as me. Hence, I must show myself sincerely. I would scare them away if I am a bad company. Since I cannot claim to be saintly good, I am more human than I like to show. As a human being, I need company to get me through in life. My friends can do the part. All I need is to be able to keep them. This can be done largely by showing the real friend in me.
The book's insight about communicating with others is life-changing. My self is the best message I transmit to people. When I am happy or sad or confused, others can see it. They can if I allow myself to be seen as such. At times, I allow only my acceptable self to be seen. I allow to be seen as happy even as I am pained. I allow myself to be seen as understanding though I want to scream and say life is unfair for singling me out on certain problems. End of it, not all of me can be communicated to others. I take so much difficulty onto myself. I hide my feelings just so others will be next to me. Only, it is useless because my self-comunication is not complete. We are next to each other, but I cannot show to them the real me. I am afraid of what bad thing they will think of me. In essence, I am avoiding them. However, the insight says that I should allow myself to be loved by others for my true self. I need to communicate my genuine self so I will be loved back genuinely as well. I should let them know I need them for my personal security. I need to be secured about being with people I want to help define life for me.
Communicating myself to others is important in my studies, personal life and future professional life. My studies often include evaluation of what lessons I learned. This is a way of communicating the change in me. I am letting others know my present state after experiencing a new lesson. By telling what change happened in me, I let others know who they are dealing with. Of course, it is the new me instead of the old one. Same thing happens in my personal life. My family and friends can know my current state if I permit them to see my real self. Projecting another personality does not help me grow. I should aspire for growth and it's possible only when the real me comes out. It is more acceptable for my family and friends to be shown my true self instead of to discover that I am hiding myself in a false mask. This is true too in my future profession. I will soon be dealing with people who will work for one another's success. Communicating the real me will help them deal with me comfortably. We can earn one another's trust as well as the people involved in my growth and theirs.
Communicating my true self can be done anywhere at any given time. Every so often, I meet people in many places. It is helpful to show them only one true self so they will not be confused and aloof in dealing with me. People at school, in my house and at places I go to must discover the genuine me that they will help grow with their understanding and, hopefully, love.