Friday, September 14, 2007
Making Friends is about understanding myself, understanding others, and understanding the relationship between me and my friends. It is not easy to know myself. I have traits that are acceptable to me and to others like respectfulness. On the other hand, I have traits that are acceptable either to me, to others, or neither like being a perfectionist. Knowing this means beginning to understand myself. After knowing myself, I can perhaps begin to understand others' traits like patience and kindness. This mutual understanding paves the way to making friends. This is because I understand myself enough to permit others to know me. This is also because I understand others regarding their need to socialize. That is why knowing one another presents a complicated network of friends with different characteristics, beliefs, and attitudes.
Understanding is especially meaningful since lots of misunderstandings draw people apart. I myself became a victim of that. Lots of friends in the past have been lost because of misunderstandings. Some friends became distant when our opinions clash. Some disappeared because they did not like the real me. Still, some took it heavily against me when I fail to understand them completely. Having read the book, I learned that mutual understanding is a key ingredient in people's relationships. If I fail to understand others or they fail to understand me, we may lose each other. This is something that I wish not to happen. This is because besides myself and my family, I draw strength from friends. With friends, I feel that problems are easier to deal with. With friends, I feel that I can make it after a storm. With friends, my life is a lot more exciting. Their understanding, despite my honest mistakes, strengthens the relationship.
The insights are important because they are easy to understand despite the complication of relationships. In the first chapter, I learned that all of us are the same. We have habits. We grow nervous. I am not different from everyone else. This means that our sameness makes us feel the similar things. What hurts me may hurt others too. This is essential in doing to others what I want to be done unto me. In the next, I learned that I can attract people. This means that I, like others, can have friends. However, I may not attract them when i express anger. I may also not attract them if I blame people. This means that no matter how I keep attracted friends, I will lose them given a wrong attitude. This also means I have to have self-control in order to realte with others. Ultimately, this means it all begins within me if I will have friends. The next chapter made learn about being assertive. This means that I need not always have to care what people negatively think about me. Being distracted by others' comments will make me lose focus. This also means I do not understand myself enough. As I mentioned, it is important to know myself first if I have to relate with others eventually. Self-understanding will not permit negative view by others to make me lose myself and friends. In the next chapter, I learned about how to respect people. No matter the differences in gender, color, religion and others, we all deserve respect. I also learned to know the importance of compliments. Praises become a measure of my self-development. Sincere compliments form me can boost the morale of others, as they lift my spirits too. Then, I learned in the next chapter how to prevent fights and arguments. These only make drift away from friends. I also learned the nice way to tell someone his or her mistake. This way, we will not have to fight each other. I can also improve my relationship with others through openness. Lastly, I learned how destructive gossip and jealousy can be. These negative feelings defeat the purpose of understanding each other. I also learned the way to bring happiness to others. This means letting me be myself and letting others be themselves.
I can use these insights in my student's life, personal life, and profesional life in varied ways. As a student, I have friends mostly composed of my classmates. I always spend time with them. It is important that I deal with them sincerely. I also aspire to make them happy in my company. In my personal life, I have friends from different walks of life. There are some who are beyond my age such as my parents. There are young ones like my siblings. Mostly come from my age bracket. To all these friends, it is important that respect is given. I understand that they deserve it to make them feel confident in my company. In my future profession, I see that colleagues can become friends too. I see that all of us can succeed with our corporate plans if we have teamwork and are not divided by jealousy, gossiping or lack of compliment.
I can use these insights today and in places I usually hang around with people I consider with friends. Today, I can be friends with people who are friends of my friends. That way, my circle of friends will enlarge. My school is large enough to meet new friends in. Other places like my home or friends' homes can be venues of meeting potential friends. Before these can be fully realized, I must begin to nurture self-understanding today. Through self-awareness, my understanding will hopefully move outward to get to know new friends.