Saturday, November 08, 2008
“Ay, si Karlo!”, you succinctly blurt out, resembling a caller who heaves a sigh of relief upon eyeing the fragments “Local Call—Please Insert Coin” registered in the telephone booth at the Alumni. You start to behave restlessly as Karlo approaches your way, thereby you notice his cherry lips break into an adrenaline-pumping grin. You feel your little heart thumping like a resonating drum surface, sending an alert signal to your brain that you must edit whatever you tell him: “Hi, Karlo, Kumain ka na?” Not too fast. “O, Karlo, Kumusta ka ba?” Daring. “Pauwi ka yata, Karlo?” Detective-type. And you end up with nothing slipping from your looped tongue.
Next thing, you inspect yourself at the mirror in the SC comfort room (or shall I say discomfort room because of its usual untidiness and gift inconvenience?). You come face to face with your reflection, as if you act puzzled why you just can’t hire yourself as a cosmetics product model. Shifting your gloomy mood to a sprightly one, you breathe “Karlo…” complete with a big smile like that of the sinister Joker in the Batman series. Suddenly, you get astounded upon seeing Karlo’s image shaping from the foam of water spurting off the faucet. What, Karlo’s face?! This can’t be but, but it’s the handsome Karlo, no less!
You commence counting Karlo’s ivory teeth as you two sit side by side down the floor, he grinning widely. You point at his teeth one after another, reciting the immortal line “He loves me, he loves me not…” Just as you are finished, you realize that you last orate, “…he loves me not.” Disaster! In this perilous state, you weigh two schemes, both of which can toss your Lantern King between Scylla and Charybdis: loosen one of Karlo’s milky teeth or grow his wisdom tooth prematurely. No way, you assert, yet there is NO OTHER WAY. You poise yourself for one of the operations (good pun, isn’t it?) by gripping away one of Karlo’s left molars, that you may predict his honest feelings for you through his odd-numbered teeth. Then the Student Regent slams the CR (or DR) door open, and you regretfully advance the words “Goodbye, Karlo!” seeing his precious mirage slowly vanishing into thin air.
After witnessing Karlo disintegrate before your very eyes, you repeatedly punch the Regent’s swelling belly, rush an office resignation letter and fly to the market to order your hotdog substitute, Teriyaki.