pampanga's best...well, not quite

one humid afternoon, my childhood friend in tarlac texted me, asking if i wanted to taste a sampling of pampanga's best. i'm a fan of this producer of tocinos and other processed meat, so i replied, "yes." it so happened that he was referring to some hot pampango guys that, while not the best lot from arayat country, are delectable all the same. fyi, aside from ilonggo boys with romantic hiligaynon lilting tongue, i drool over malalagong pampangos, pardon the quadruple entendre. now the capampangan men queng bie ku are a-coming: talk about "alay sa bathaluman." first chance i received an mms of a guy in brief, my blood pressure climbed dramatically. here's the proof:
he second chance my friend sent an mms, it was a wholesome picture of a trio--all cute and manly. i immediately got interested with the tyrone perez-looking guy at the extreme right. darn, the guy's taken, i was told. like the day i acquired a jorge amado novel and a margaret atwood novel at P35 each and let go of two latin american novels each costing P20 because they were, well, in original, unintelligible (for me) spanish, i just shrugged, "you win some, you lose some." but tyrone, is that you?
then, the interrogation began: question #1. how did my childhood friend find these cuties across the expanse of this crazy, ruthless universe? answer: when he and ms. ghana toured angeles city for some gorgeous lays, an acquaintance helpfully gave the numbers of these guys who are currently employed in some temple of capitalism sitting in the once-lahar-stricken mexico...pampanga. hint: my erstwhile pangga also works for one of such chains of megamalls. life insight #1: the world is still populated by a tiny number of samaritan souls, and when you are in the prowl for some exotic adventure in foreign lands, you encounter them. life insight #2: when you've stopped looking for love in the strangest places, tell the boyzone you have not stopped looking for lay, anticipating that you will ultimately be rewarded.
question #2: did my childhood friend lay them for a pay? i asked because my friend is such a bisexual (he buys sex) despite his maria clara upbringing, and i'm not going to turn into his ilk for as long as ganda lang can work miracles like the latest olay. thankfully, the guys are for free. life insight #3: nothing beats freebies. life insight #4: gorgeous guys like these who create tremendous sacrifices in order to make the gay community happy should be nominated for the lambda award, if not for sainthood.
question #3: when can they be met asap? my childhood friend informed that they are still busy with work so i can do nothing less than wait for their career schedule to clear up. hmm, april 2 is the start of the summer classes where i teach, and exactly a week after, summer classes in UP will begin. perhaps i will have to invoke the deities of the earth and of the sky and of the air so they will conspire to make the meeting possible the soonest. life insight #5: patience is a virtue, so please bear with the inconvenience; the boys are out to improve your social activity. life insight #6: challenges are strewn along the path to glory. life insight #7: have faith, for the deities listen to the most ardent prayers.
for my parting shot, i texted my friend: i'll book a trip to angeles city...very soon.:)