the gapanese invasion is nigh!

"pinakamaganda ka nga sa buong kapuluan, pero latina na naman ang magwawagi ng korona at sash sa miss world! racism ba ito? lupasay!"

Sunday, April 09, 2006

thou shalt not eat flesh, any variant, on lent


unless you want tsunami to strike where you are actually getting it on, have pity on yourself and don't eat meat. hahahahaha. the colonizing westerners introduced to vegetarian orientals the wonders of the flesh, now they want to foist on us the idea of avoiding eating carcass for forty days beginning ash wednesday. ano ba talaga, kuya?
anyway, this whole mumbo-jumbo of refraining from carnal pursuits rests on the superstition that it's as bad as eating the corpse of the crucified christ. abstain the flesh, we are warned, just so we partake in the sacrifices of the redeemer. eat bulalo, sinigang na baboy and similar mouth-watering dish and you are reduced to being a spiritual cannibal. reminds me of an old joke wherein a gay man queuing for the eucharist was asked, "katawan ni kristo..." to which the gay replied, "macho!", scandalizing the ostiya-wielding priest and the rest of the mass attendants.
the myth is not limited to the organic, since it extends up to the sexual. getting laid should be abstained too, supposedly. no blowjobs, even as you argue that you'll never consume the entire thing inside your stomach anyway and that you'll just lick and suck. apparently, the mere taste of hard, throbbing cock is supposed to earn you a celestial punishment. when i started asking friends with benefits "may papakuin ba kayo ngayong semana santa?" some were horrified with my double entendre that they pleaded, "sanctify yourself, for christ' sake!" i would have believed them but for the sacrilegious mentioning of the lord's name, which left me some doubt about saying sorry instead of being outright repentant.
good friday of 2003 saw me and my writer friend ruel prowling the callboy-dominated marikina riverbanks, notwithstanding my policy not to engage in sex facilitated by money. he was able to convince me to check out the place out of sheer fun, especially when the meat market began to reek of haggling amongst gays and rent boys. reaching the place devoid of the expected gigolos, we came to the conclusion that even these guys adhere to a certain superstitious pagtitika. i could imagine them flagellating themselves too, in order to atone for the sin of capitalizing on laziness and on the desire for them by obliging gay men. talk about a country that's predominantly catholic.
the lent a year after so bored me that i decided to pay a visit to a hospital-attending boylet, since people from the medical profession, the police, the tourism section and, last i gathered straight from the nonstraight friend of gorgeous that's hunk, from the airlines and from the call centers, do not enjoy vacation during the lenten season. as i crossed aurora boulevard, a bearded hunk about my age flashed me a smile, which made me change plans. it was 3 p.m. good friday, but here was a guy in the image of christ, and i was transforming into the snake temptress. ice--for that was the name with which he regaled me--accompanied me back home and apart from the mouse he saw crawling atop my cabinet, no natural catastrophe whatsoever halted our carnal education.
good friday of last year will always go down in my personal history as among the top three best sexcapades i've had, for i did it with a beautiful guy who would become an ad model for a telecom and a foreign fastfood. i just staggered from a short vacation in villa escudero in san pablo city (even as i was in san pablo, hindi ako nagpa-blo, hehehehe), and i incurred fever after sharing the jacuzzi with two pairs of lesbian lovers (one being an outed celebrity couple). now, this fever was the sacrifice the gay man that i am must redeem the world with in order to avoid a cataclysm of biblical proportions. however, seeing dreamboy, a ryan agoncillo looker with muscles, immediately made my fever vanish. the malls were closed as it was good friday, and glancing at dreamboy's boyish looks, i would have hailed a taxi to spare him a short travel home on foot. i was reminded that bawal ang karne, but what the hey, dreamboy is such a babe it's a greater sin not to obey my craving.
as for this year, i don't know yet what's in store for me, but my time for reflection will always include a supplication that the earth will not open up to engulf me as i hold my mouth agape to receive flesh.

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