what follows is the slightly edited transcript of the most terrific online chat i've ever had. "you" refers to yours truly, while "coldfusion" refers to my lasallian chatmate at the guys4men website. read on and be radiated...
10 Apr 2006, 20:20You: gotcha:) your lovely face distracts me from my writing, hehehe.:)
10 Apr 2006, 20:37ColdFusion: hehehe... bolero...don't lie to me... are you effeminate?
10 Apr 2006, 20:45You: i am not.:) sounds to me like those ancient confessions in moss-covered churches, hahahaha.
10 Apr 2006, 20:50ColdFusion: and what will you confess to me, my child?
10 Apr 2006, 20:53You: hmm, father, while we're at it, forgive me for i have sinned. while i'm chatting with this scorching hot lasallian guy, i grow horns.
10 Apr 2006, 20:54ColdFusion: what made you think that the guy you're chatting with is a lasallian?
10 Apr 2006, 20:54You: i read his posts, father, but lasallian or non-lasallian, my pagan orientation is giving me a ticket straight to the fires of hell. father, pray tell, how many hail mary's do i recite? how many apostle's creed's? do i include the ejaculation to the holy mother?
10 Apr 2006, 20:56ColdFusion: just bend over, and i'll bless you from the inside bottom...
10 Apr 2006, 20:59You: father, let me quote from my literary god: the lord is my shepherd but i want...didn't notice too soon, father, that you're smoldering hot...
10 Apr 2006, 21:00ColdFusion: then let this former lasallian bless you with his white water from his wand of light.open your body to him, receive him in all his glory... let your lust overflow, as his white water of lust overflows from within you out your bottom. i am not your father... i am your brother... let me give you my brotherly love... we shall be in bed sharing our lusty carnal love for each other.
10 Apr 2006, 21:03You: i will let him, father, for i want to worship my body and his body before both wither. the fluid lust shall brim my anatomical cup, and the look in his eyes shall consume me like the sun-kissed earth.
10 Apr 2006, 21:06ColdFusion: and that truth will not set you free right away...you will be bound to be lustful with your brother... until you and your brother are without the white water.
10 Apr 2006, 21:09You: share to me your carnal knowledge, my brother, even as i'm trembling with passion. but then again, the temblor underneath my skin is the fear that begins wisdom.
10 Apr 2006, 21:10ColdFusion: only then shall you know the meaning of redemption... only then when his broth runs over your cup... only then shall you be liberated from the bindings of this world.you shall know redemption from him. but it shall not be realised on one meeting only. you will have to study him, learn from him, of him, on him. and that realization will be made known only when you have done it more than once.
10 Apr 2006, 21:13You: i will remember, my brother: i will not be set free right away like plato's cavemen unseeing of the sunlight. if becoming wise means having to submit to the will of my brother, so be it, my wrists are chained. i anticipate the time when my brother showers me with ripples of his desire, and i will be moved to enlightenment.
10 Apr 2006, 21:14ColdFusion: you shall learn what elation means, my brother. you shall once he has grown inside you one time too many.
10 Apr 2006, 21:20You: i will not forget the teachings of my brother. he is my master and i am but a lowly follower. i will not receive salvation on one stroke alone, so i will try to learn and learn more. the weight of worldliness is too much to endure, but i will express my desire to unbind myself from the anguish of it.my brother is my redeemer, and his ways are true, good and beautiful. a mere touch on his body shall heal me from my wanting, but the knowledge he offers will ultimately free me. without hesitation, i come to him, clean-slated as a child, for my brother will whisk me away from the material world.
10 Apr 2006, 21:23ColdFusion: tremble not... you must face him, or turn about from him, and be impaled by his gentleness. your wisdom of him must be based not on fear, but on the lustful wanting of him.
10 Apr 2006, 21:25You: i must admit that the same fright running beneath my skin spins the same web of desire for my brother. i accede to his command: i will face my brother, on bended knee, and minister to him like i never did in all my life. my brother is gentle; he guides me as my ministry happens along, and as his face manifests blissful pleasure, my heart will long to be one with my brother.
10 Apr 2006, 21:29ColdFusion: your brother is not The redeemer... but he himself was redeemed. he is merely a corrupted reflection of those that came before him. yet, he bears the truth... the truth that each man seeks. and that truth shall be passed on to you. your bodies shall be the medium with which this truth shall be shared. by that intercourse you must also realize the you are like him in most repects. he wishes not to imply that he is above and beyond you. but, rather, he presents himself as an equal... you can be like him. just allow yourself to receive him fully, without hesitation, without fear. receive him like a true man should. receive him with fierceness. and let go not of him lightly. lest you insult his wand, and burden yourself of the loss of him so unforgivable.
10 Apr 2006, 21:29You: i will remember, my brother. it is with celestial yearning that i will allow him to come to me, for i am his little brother, and he is my big brother, and brothers walk side by side in attempting to discover the labyrinths of the universe. my brother, i lust after you. forgive me but i want to sin.
10 Apr 2006, 21:34ColdFusion: you brother is very forgiving. but abuse not his generosity. for within his gentle facade rests a very unforgiving nature... lose him once, and you shall never know redemption. you shall never be free.
10 Apr 2006, 21:40You: you speak to me of ancient truths, and i desire you even more, my brother. i will not attempt in any way to lose my brother, for if he walks astray i will be doomed. i long to share what light my brother has received, for it is this light that shall redeem me too. i am a man and i will receive him, filled with ferocity and passion. i can only take my brother seriously, for he is more than an incarnated being. he is enlightened, and his ways shall haunt me even in my deepest imaginings. i cannot afford to lose my brother, for it is him that my heart yearns all along. i want the day to come when my brother takes my hand toward the way to freedom. his benevolence is without equal, for his rod of light spawns the very beginning of my wisdom.
10 Apr 2006, 21:44ColdFusion: and your brother shall have nourishment for a moment... the spirit does require a healthy vessel. and it is this vessel that shall feed your cup the white water that will cleanse your soul.
10 Apr 2006, 21:46You: i will follow my brother, for i cannot present myself to my brother an already withered temple. as he nourishes his body, i will be reminded of him, and i will be struck with desire, and in my mind he eats, and is eaten for the fluid of truth.
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