phallic overtures

Overheard while looking for the brown-eyed, chubby tisoy attendantwho prepares my exotic, mouth-watering shawarma rice in UP:
Manang with a helmet, to tapsilog attendant: “Miss, ito na ba ‘yung longganisa? Ang liit naman!”
Another tapsilog attendant, after a male customer approached her: “Pa-follow-up ng footlong ni Kuya…”
Sidewalk vendor, adjusting his plied fruit: “Walang bumibili ng banana ko, a.” (yes, you read it right: in English!)