happy second anniversary, pangga!

Two years ago, our journey began…ooops, sounds like the ever too familiar “Ever After” by Bonnie Bailey (thanks for the homage, Carl!). But yes, it has been two years since I and Pangga became lovers. Who would have thought that the uneventful meeting to buy a Motorola phone would lead to this very special love, ha, Sarah Geronimo? As a tribute to this man who loves me for all my insanity, silliness and other such imperfections, I have written about statements straight from the horse’s, err, Pangga’s mouth, quotable for their hilarity that’s an essential element in our intimate relationship. Pangga, ILY, ikaw lang ‘yun, hitsura lang nina Piolo Pascual, Sam Milby at Richard Gutierrez.
1. “Answer all.”
Pangga’s translation of “Pakisagot lahat.” The need for space-saving in short message service has Pangga squeezing many questions in a single text, which case becomes a problem when his recipients answer only the last question. As a solution, he ends his text with that quotable reminder.
2. “Period lips.”
Pangga is fond of inserting emoticons like (-`.`-), (^-^) or (-.-) in his messages in order to convey his state of mind: feel-like-hugging in the first graphic, smiling boyishly in the second and sleep mode in the last. When I asked him to describe the last in verbal terms, he said, “period lips, hyphen eyes, parenthesis” complete with his lips reduced to a dot and his eyes to a pair of chink.
3. “Lupasay to the max.”
The campy scene of Luis Manzano in the movie Ang Cute ng Ina Mo gave Pangga the idea of describing his feeling of curling into a fetal position and throwing a fit when the stars contradict his way; for instance, in his repetitively unsuccessful registration in Globe Unlimited Text service.
4. “Eat muna bago play.”
While dining at KFC, I and Pangga overheard a mother telling her daughter to “eat muna bago play” in the fastfood’s playground area. Noticing the suggestiveness of the mother’s words, Pangga restated the same albeit in a seductive whisper.
5. “Cute pa naman, puti.”
This is in reference to African lion cubs whose mother abandoned them, a news report which Pangga told me about. Pangga is such a darling for supplying me with strange current events worldwide when I’m too busy to watch the evening newscast.
6. “Little Victory.”
Pangga uses this expression in the very rare times he wins his arguments or supplements information which may be hitherto unknown to me. While I argue that I am not competing against him, he claims that he feels insecure. My Pangga, tame your heart for you are the reason why I’m always a winner.
7. “Kinda kainis ang kambing!”
This came about when I asked Pangga of his personal assessment of the much-ballyhooed film Serbis wherein I appeared as, in yet another quotable by Pangga, an “international extra.” He insisted that instead of the sizzling scenes, the episode in which the whole cinema was distressed by the goat materializing from out of the blue was the one that’s gratuitous.
8. “Shhh! Mamaya na.”
During my 28th birthday, I agreed to meet Pangga in our unofficial meeting place in Megamall: the Booksale shop in the Lower Ground. Once there, I received contradictory messages from him like “Papunta na ako diyan,” “Nasa Cyberzone ako,” “Pababa na ako.” I tried calling him but his phone was out of reach. I grew ballistic more than anxious and when he informed me that he’s in a particular telecommunication shop swapping his mobile phone, I was silenced by his quote before I could even start my tirade.
9. “Tutungo ka lang kapag inaantok.”
Pardon the phallic overtone but this is Pangga’s advice when previous night’s deadlines are unforgiving and my sleeplessness defeats my willpower to stay awake during our movie dates.
10. “Plastikero!”
He accuses me of being insincere when I say, “Mas pogi ka naman kay Sam Milby/Piolo Pascual/Richard Gutierrez; bakit ba naging model ang mga ‘yun?” or when I assure him that it didn’t matter to me that these ex-flames are cum laude from UP-Diliman or that ex-boyfriend can pass for a matinee idol. ‘tsura lang nila. Hmp.
11. “Tabain naman ‘yun.”
Pangga always gets compliments that he resembles this or that male celebrity but when I reported to him that Niño said he looks like Geoff Eigenmann, he resented it, citing that the cute actor-host is in the brink of chubbiness. The term stuck and has become our expression every time a gym-going guy is in immediate view.
12. “Excited!”
One time when I and Pangga decided to sleep in a hotel, I tripped along the stairs, prompting him to exclaim the quote and the receptionist to let out her repressed giggles.
13. “Soulmates?Yakap!Gigil!Mwah!”
Whenever we coincidentally send messages to each other at the same time, Pangga would send the quoted words afterwards, in no particular order.
14. “Cute mo kasi blue eyes.”
Pangga consistently likes the color of my contact lenses, which are blue not because I harbor an illusion of looking like a Latina but because my friend Troy ran out of colorless pairs for delivery. Pangga goes on to tease me that my eyes are “blue sa umaga, brown sa gabi at red ‘pag puyat. Mwah.”
15. “Lab, nagkakapalit na tayo a. O nagkakapantay-pantay na tayo: nagiging beast and beast na.”
I always joke that Pangga and I represent the Beauty and the Beast, respectively. However, he gains weight lately, causing him to be flabby at the chin and at the belly while I amazingly get proposals from a gay website and from the bar I once accompanied Partyphile and Miss Ghana to. Whatever is happening, Pangga will always be my only one, for better or for worse appearance. Basta Pangga ha, let me enroll in a gym na.:)